009 – It’s Your Move [Commitment]

There are 3 options when your relationship is really bad:

  • Stay where you are (miserable)
  • Do something
  • Separate / Divorce

We were at that point at the 3rd year of our marriage. Carolann was feeling like “the other woman.” We knew things were bad and we were both trying to fix the other. One decision we made and said out loud to each other was the turning point.

We share that principal and dive into a recent incident were Carolann believed that I chose work over her. In that process we share a communication tool from Gary Smalley called, “Drive Thru Talking.”

Be sure to listen to the out-takes at the end where Carolann surprises me (again) about how she felt about our relationship.

Photo by Hassan Pasha on Unsplash

005 – Anger and Resentment

24 hours ago, Carolann and I were sitting on the loveseat in a very bad emotional state.

She was really angry at me and I was listening to her, feeling lost.

In the podcast we talk about how we went from that place to being able to sing in the kitchen today.

Carolann’s anger processing steps from Gary Chapman:

  1. Realize you are angry and it’s ok.
  2. Get more information. Ask questions.
  3. Do not react.
  4. Give yourself processing space.
  5. Take action: let it go and/or talk to the person.


003 – Secrets

In this episode we share secrets that we didn’t know about each other.

Links mentioned in this podcast:

 Jon’s tips for Guys to writing love notes:

  • There is no secret formula
  • Write what is on your heart
  • Be honest
  • Mention a reason why you choose to be with her today
  • Short is ok
  • Doesn’t always need to be romantic, sometimes we need to say, “I’m sorry.”
  • Wording doesn’t need to be perfect